With Love…
17Oct/0938

Beauty vs Brains

Hello Darlings,

As I was sitting in Starbucks reading a new issue of Glow Magazine, I came across an article that I found to be interesting. It spoke of women being seen as Pretty or Smart…. Yes OR not both but only one. It has become a society standard to judge women in those terms, that is crazy you might think. But TRUE!

She may look like she has it all, but when a woman sports good looks and a great mind, she's often forced to fight a very lonely battle.Can a woman be beautiful and brainy? More and more, it's seeming like a taboo twosome. But the ugly reality is that it's not just the media machine or the views of sexist men that are creating and perpetuating stereotypes that hold brainy beauties back; it's the rest of us "normal" girls with our delicate egos who are also embracing these embarrassing outdated messages.

Personally, I can completely relate to this story…I have always been the one to be too ashamed to admit to having good marks in high school because I was afraid that I would no longer be seen as “cool” by my friends and was going to be teased for being a “goody-two-shoe”. Girls acted stupid in high school and so did... that is until grade 12, that’s when I came to realize that there’s nothing wrong to being seen as attractive and intelligent.I finally, felt proud to admit that I had an early acceptance to one of the best schools in the country.Yup, that there quite a few who were surprised...as I never spoke of my mark and still don't.

I was proud to be who I am! University has given me an opportunity to explore the side of me that I was too ashamed to socially reveal before. I was a rebel in high school and now in university I am a “goody-two-shoe” … the best part is, I love having the balance of both worlds.

However, I must admit that I still am judged based on my appearance by most… Strangers judge me based on the appearance and then change their mind once we have a conversation going. Actually, recently…I was introduced to a new group of people and we were discussing politics, and one of the girls (of all people) said jokingly, “well, she’s not just a pretty face…” I was shocked at first but then smiled politely, and thought to myself “such a smart girl, with such dumb ideas.” I think that in the back of my head I know how I am seen, and often times it discourages me from pursuing certain things (“well, who’s going to take me seriously”) but despite the fear , I have yet to give up on anything. I don’t believe that success or intelligence should have a face or a designer to it… I believe that it is one of the most beautiful parts in people, no matter who you are, what you look like and how you dress!

Being seen as attractive and intelligent is not a crime... and it is a standard that women modern days should embrace. Just because a woman cares about her appearance does not mean that she's un-intelligent, and just because you care about your studies/work does not mean that you should give up on taking care of yourself. To be beautiful and intelligent is attainable for everyone, it is just a matter of embracing both sides :)

Now...as for the article, I think that it describes both sides beautifully and I would love to share it with you…as it really did get me thinking.

"Pretty Smart" by Karen Robock from Glow Magazine (November 09 issue)

Women, in particular, play a role in keeping the pretty-versus-smart cliche alive," says Noemi Soucy-Girard, a public relations specialist for Lise Watier Cosmetics. " We secretly wish that there was a natural fairness about it. There's a notion that nobody is supposed to be perfect." Dr. Karen Abrams, an assistant psychiatry professor at the University of Toronto and staff psychiatrist at the Women's Mental Health Clinic at Toronto General Hospital says," Women are almost always grouped into either the ' pretty' or 'smart' category," she says. "They're rarely though of as both." This leaves pretty and intelligent women doing a balancing act: In some situations, they're drawing attention away from their attractiveness; at other times, they're playing down their smarts to fit in.

Playing Dumb

Some women caught in this pretty-versus-smart Catch-22 find themselves playing down their intelligence to be successful-it's a phenomenon that's often echoed in popular culture.The "dumb blonde" stereotype is rampant among actresses, but according to Dr.Sheila O'Byrne, a registered psychologist in Calgary, acting may be the key factor. "For many of these women playing dumb is just part of the gig."

Abrams is troubled by this trend of celebrities playing dumb. "It's not encouraging young women to achieve their potential when their role models are getting ahead by acting stupid, " she says. Young women get the message that it literally pays to play dumb. By supporting these stunned starlets, we may be helping to perpetuate the idea that attractive women must also be airheads.

Playing It Smart

... It's not only beautiful celebrities who have people doubting their intellect ( think Natalie Portman). Real women encounter skepticism about their abilities, too-particularly in the workplace...As a young and attractive professional, it can be difficult to prove yourself at the office-especially when your co-workers are convinced that your good looks got you hired. Many brainy beauties keep bosses and co-workers from doubting their competence at work by drawing attention away from their attractiveness.

Having It All

The instinct to find fault with a woman who seems to have it all can be hard to resist. But according to O'Byrne, we need to be careful about how we fling judgment around, she says. " It's coming from a place of ego and jealousy." It's very hard to overcome all of these messages, but as women we have to try to build each other up, not tear each other down.

I have always wondered as to why women follow and farther build such misconceptions, instead of continuously working together to farther our wellness we are doing the opposite. As history has shown when we join in, we get much farther...

So now the questions goes out to you darlings... Can you relate to this article in one way or another? Would you say that you agree with it?What are your thoughts/ideas related to this topic?

Which one do you indentify with....

View Results

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I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts....please do feel free to express your honest opinions.

I wish you all a beautiful weekend!

With Love...

Marta

Sources: Glow Magazine; fashion gone rouge; jak&jil

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Comments (38) Trackbacks (3)
  1. KNL
    October 20th, 2009 - 04:00

    Marta, I discovered your blog a few months ago and I love both the blog and your style! It's troubling that not only are women perceived as being either beautiful or smart, but not both, but that there are even further stereotypes that sometimes underlie this split when it comes to a woman's success. Such success is often attributed to either only a woman's appearance or negative character traits (sadly, things such as "she slept her way to the top," "she is an aggressive b—-," "she must have had help") - by both male and female coworkers, fellow students, acquaintances, etc.. Ironic, when one considers that the most successful men are perceived as having both beauty and brains. Studies show that most men who reach positions of power (eg: CEOs) are tall and "handsome" or at least better than average. Attractive people are generally promoted more. Yet I've never heard of anyone saying that a man was promoted solely for his looks, or that a handsome man was therefore unintelligent. It is as if we expect, or even require, male leaders to possess both intellect and good looks, while women are relegated to choosing between one or the other. PS: You might enjoy this article about Marissa Mayer - she is a blonde beauty who loves fashion, cupcakes, the color purple, and she is also Google's first female engineer and current VP of search. http://www.sanfranmag.com/story/adventures-mariss...

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  2. Catherine Morland
    October 19th, 2009 - 18:26

    Yay!! My copy of Glow came in the mail today!! :)

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  3. Sarah
    October 19th, 2009 - 17:13

    Hey Marta,

    I am so thankful that there is a blogger like you who is willing to raise awareness to this problem. Your blog is a perfect representation of who you say you are: smart and stylish - you prove you're more than just a pretty face to cyberspace by posting articles like this and questioning them.

    As an undergrad at McGill, I completely identify with the problem you speak of - I've had people ask me how I got into one of the best universities of the country based off of only my exterior appearance (and I secretly enjoy telling them I was given early acceptance too if they're extremely obnoxious regarding how I got into McGill). I don't speak of my grades because I believe my grades are my business - however, many people believe that because I don't speak of them and have a sense of style, I must not be doing well.

    Hopefully all of us fashionable AND smart women can change this stereotype…for good. Keep up the amazing blog; xoxo

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  4. teresa
    October 19th, 2009 - 15:16

    i can definitely agree with you. the other day my whole class had an assignment to go meet the professor so he could get to know us better. when it was my turn, he asked me a few questions and one of them was what are my hobbies and interests… i responded with running, reading, and fashion. i wish i could've recorded his reaction when i said fashion haha. and the funny part? i received a very high grade on the first test, which most people failed…

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  5. Cinthia
    October 19th, 2009 - 15:07

    I love that you have bring this article, i have always think in that, and i think than that it's part of the society, because even me when i see a beautiful women , the first thing than came to my mind it's, Oh she maybe it's just cute but not smart, no because i want think that, maybe because the society have show us that, Thank for bring that that make me know than be a smart girl doesn't mean don't take good care of my body.

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  6. leeselooks
    October 19th, 2009 - 14:16

    beautifully written MARTA!

    i say you can have both.
    if people only knew how nerdy i truly was ;)

    have a wonderful week ahead.

    xo

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  8. marg
    October 19th, 2009 - 03:32

    So true, I'm a student in a professional program at U of T (and hold an honours science degree already, and graduated at the top of my high school, and skipped a grade as a child)…I'm also crazy about fashion & makeup, and get told all the time I should be a model. I work part-time in a job that's mostly based on looking cute, being friendly and not using my brain…and every time I get into conversation with a customer and tell them what I'm studying in school, they look so shocked and then impressed…they assume I'm just another dumb blonde girl working a random job in Yorkville…I love proving them wrong :)
    That being said, when I was younger I was really awkward and not that attractive to most people (see: very tall and skinny, which is sweet now but not so much when you're 15 and just wish you had something to put into a bra :P ) and was only known for being smart, so it is kind of nice now to get attention for my looks too.

    I hope your midterms are going well, mine are killing me right now too :| I hate this time of year, it always creeps up so fast! Best of luck!

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    • withlove_marta
      October 19th, 2009 - 04:14

      hahaha… I have one of those jobs too, but couldn't deal with the stereotype but people's reactions were pretty awesome, it was amusing more than anything.

      Yup, I hate these mid-terms… it feels like we just started! Best of luck to you too :)

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  9. Sarah Klassen
    October 19th, 2009 - 03:22

    Marta — this is such a great post!

    I can relate to this issue. However, in high school, most students had a tutor. No matter their
    age, race, or grade status. (even those with a 95% average had a tudor) It was considered "bad"
    if you were not smart. There was a fear to do badly and be mocked more than there was a fear if
    you were less attractive. In fact, some of the most popular girls were simply smart, outgoing, and
    fashionable, not necessarily pretty. Odd case, for certain.

    Once I attended University, it was an entirely different story. Perhaps, it was because of the
    evident mix of high schools that fed this University, and my lack of experience with different
    students and attitudes. I was shocked at how much I had to prove myself. Not to everyone,
    mind you, but to many people. I have my Bachelor's degree in Graphic Design for Marketing
    - a lot of people simply think of it as a "design" or "artsy" program. It is not. A great deal of the
    program is catered to marketing, research and business knowledge. Graphic Design is simply
    the solution to a problem — the final result and maybe 20% of the work. I felt like I had to prove
    that I am a thinker, even though I was in a "design" program and am attractive.

    Thank you for posting a topic that is so relevant in society today, particularly to women! It is
    encouraging to know that women are opening their minds…

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    • withlove_marta
      October 19th, 2009 - 04:09

      People tend to judge without having any knowledge of the subject at all… And it must have been really nice to have such a lovely high school experience,my high school was a complete opposite.
      I think that it is important to address such issues, because if we won't. Who will?

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  10. Michael
    October 19th, 2009 - 02:41

    OH MON DIEU!
    Just look at those fierce Loubutins! A lot of people break hearts and sell souls for those you know?
    Great post, J'adore!

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  11. Erin
    October 19th, 2009 - 01:20

    Great post. that one hit pretty close to home. I used to "dress down" so that people would take me seriously in high school, not wear make up ect. just so I wouldn't be associated with all the dumb girls. Except that I always loved fashion and all the glamour, but I was afraid people wouldn't take me seriously and write me off as flaky or something.
    Hilariously, I'd go back and forth, studying up on fashion (I could identify every single designers pieces for the season, but still wore sweatpants to class) and then being the geek at school. Finally just last week I admitted to my family that I'm not going to be working for the New Yorker most likely (like I'd been pretending to) I want to work for one of Conde nast's magazines. I was kind of surprised that they were okay with it. Although I'm still embarrased about how many magazine subscriptions I have and how often I "shop" all the designers online :)

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  12. Bella
    October 18th, 2009 - 19:25

    You really hit a nerve with me….I was recently told by a professor at school that I would have to downplay my looks inorder for people to take me seriously. He actually said to me…“Do you think people look at Barbie and think she`s smart!“ I don`t dress or act a certain way to draw that type of attention, and I don`t think its fair that certain women are expected to look a certain way inorder to be “smart“. I think my classmates would be surprised to know I have a 4.0 because I don`t fit the sterotype of frumpy bookish “smart“ girl look. The positive thing I can take from this is I enjoy being underestimated, it challenges me to excel even higher!!

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    • withlove_marta
      October 19th, 2009 - 04:03

      Hahahha….I've been told a similar thing, that my appearance have given me a certain opportunity. It was funny because we applied with applications :P I think in the world as advanced as ours, have such misconceptions is just ridiculous. I think that it is important to stay true to yourself no matter how you look or your style and just keep going.

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  13. FASHION SNAG
    October 18th, 2009 - 16:44

    I think brains are more important, but I find people think if you are really pretty you must not be smart. It is ridiculous and lame.

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  14. APVM
    October 18th, 2009 - 16:13

    That should say, "… but I don't think I'm one of those girls PEOPLE would notice as standing out because of my physical attributes." Sorry, typo!

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    • Jaycee
      October 18th, 2009 - 20:37

      APVM, totally agree with your reply. I too, am a student at Queen's, and while I consider myself good enough looking, I dont feel as if I'm someone that people notice notice as opposed to the other girls here. Nonetheless, I completely agree with you that I stand by my intelligence as well. However, when you're at a school where everyone (mostly everyone) was at the top of their graduating class, it's definitely hard to find SOMETHING special about yourself.

      Thank you for the great post Marta, thank yo for your response APVM, it's definitely nice to have someone feel the same way!

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    • withlove_marta
      October 19th, 2009 - 03:59

      I think that because I have always been seen a certain way, now I depend on my intelligence more than anything. I feel the need to prove people wrong, no matter how silly that does sound( I know that I should do it for myself)… I still feel intimidated by the misconceptions and I know what it is like to go to school where majority of people are brilliant and intelligent. It really is intimidating, but I often times remind myself that I am here for a reason and because I also deserve to be here.

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  15. APVM
    October 18th, 2009 - 16:12

    I definitely have always tried to promote my brains over my appearance because I've never considered myself to fit into other people's conceptions of attractiveness/beauty. I know I'm good looking, but I don't think I'm one of those girls because would notice as standing out because of my physical attributes. Rather I focus on winning people over with my charm and intellect. I'm just very insecure so to rely on my intelligence is like a safety blanket … and when that is compromised (and it sometimes is at Queen's University, yet another fantastic Canadian institution like U of T) I feel like I have nothing to offer anyone and I feel completely deflated. It is a struggle! Thank you for the post. :)

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  16. Cafe Fashionista
    October 18th, 2009 - 15:51

    I believe that you can be both - yet life can sometimes be more difficult when you are. I findthat if I were just pretty, perhaps I would be more willing to accept poor treatment from others; but because I see myself as being both pretty and smart, I allow my voice to be heard - to speak up for myself. People so rarely expect someone who is pretty to be smart, or someone who is smart to be pretty - it's really sad. :/

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  18. Keith
    October 18th, 2009 - 13:17

    Hey there. Great photos. I enjoyed the post. You definitely hit some good points. Hope you've had a nice weekend so far. Cheers!

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  19. Nadia
    October 18th, 2009 - 06:50

    Nice one Marta! I think people will always judge… men because you are pretty and they see something in you they want to have, not to do business with. And women because they see you and compare you to themselves, and most of the time it's not flattering for them, so they just HAVE to say… "so what, she is dump". It's easier like that… for them :)

    It's too much for any's self-confidence to admit that you can be smart and beautiful at the same time… And actually smart women know who they are and they are not jealous of the pretty ones, it's the problem of the "not so smart ones", I think.

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    • withlove_marta
      October 19th, 2009 - 03:53

      I don't know I think that every individual offers something that the other one doesn't have…that doesn't mean we should dislike everyone. But you're right, to be intelligent it does make you more comfortable and accepting of yourself.

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  20. Hailey
    October 18th, 2009 - 04:50

    I couldn't agree with this line more:
    "[We] have to try to build each other up, not tear each other down. It's so true today, that people too often make themselves feel/look better by bring others down. I think everyone knows how great it feels to be nice. So why not turn over a new leaf and spend each day being positive rather than pessimistic. I've been embracing my appearance and brains since I got out of highschool too; I can't imagine living any other way now.
    Nice post Marta! :)

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  21. nobody
    October 18th, 2009 - 02:20

    I kind of agree with this article…I often get the feeling that it is somehow unfair to be pretty and smart. When I meet women who fit both categories I suppose I feel like they hit the genetic jackpot. I've always been told I was smart and rarely told I was pretty sooo I guess i never thought I was meant to have it all.

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  22. @faerieangel
    October 18th, 2009 - 01:36

    lol, what I meant to write was: I never thought of myself as *that* pretty… but I don't think I'm by any means ugly…, etc… :-P *sigh* Lost in translation…

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  23. @faerieangel
    October 18th, 2009 - 01:25

    Hmm, to be honest… I've never thought of myself as pretty, so I guess I never 'came across' this issue as a personal experience. I've been shamelessly competitive where education is concerned, and I was exposed to alot of books and movies when I was younger, where girls were smart AND pretty. I guess I never had reason to doubt that the combo was possible. I wasn't aware of this stereotype either until much later when I was around 18. In terms of other people, I always tend to take them at 'face value'. If they are dumb, they are dumb.. no matter what they look like. And that goes for smart people too.

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